The Law of Detachment: Manifesting Our Desires
Let go. Two simple words. Let go. It sounds easy enough to do, right? So, why can’t we do it? Why is letting go so hard?
Letting go has been a huge lesson for me this year. I have had to learn how to let go of my son as he went off to college. Let go of the all the old ways and change into this new way of being (haven’t mastered that yet). Letting go of the idea that he is no longer a child and is in control of his own life and decisions. Letting go of the expectation that my house would sell the minute I placed it up on the market and I would be moving into my new downsized home. Trust me, the list goes on and on. As much as I talk to others about letting go and trusting, I also struggle with this. Especially, when my sights are locked on the expectations of a particular outcome, I believe it should be. Of course, in this very moment, that is where I am hitting the proverbial wall. Seriously people, I am running headfirst into it without a helmet. AND it is so painful.
We have been taught the harder we work the more we can achieve. If you keep your nose to the grindstone, you will get what you want and more. This way of thinking and believing forms attachments that then causes us to not let go. Most importantly, it creates a fear that if we don’t do this or that we might not get it. This fear in turn creates distrust that the Universe does not provide for us. The belief that the harder we push to get that outside resource the happier we will be. Yes, it is nice for us to have the things we want. Yes, we are happy when we get them. BUT it is when we become so attached to the “getting it” part that we lose sight of who or what is supporting and helping us.
As much as we don’t want to admit it, we ARE all control freaks. Yes, I said it. I am a control freak. You are a control freak. We ALL are! When we don’t release that control, we are choosing to work against the Universe rather than with it. I know what you are thinking… “I am not a control freak!” and “How dare she say that about me.” Stay with me on this… I want you to look back at the things that either didn’t work in your favor or was a real struggle to get. How did you feel about the thing you wanted? Did it suddenly feel or become like an obsession to get it? Did you think about it night and day? Did you make plan after plan on how you would get it? Did you try to talk others into seeing and believing your way was the only way? We’ve all been guilty of one or all these things and that’s okay. We are all human and learning. However, the thing that you were desiring wasn’t the actual things itself… It was the energetic attachment that was created the moment you decided “I have to have this” that turned your harmless want into a controlling desire.
So, how do we step away from the controlling desire and step into the energy of trusting that what’s for highest and best good will be? How do we shift from the belief that if we don’t try harder and control our experiences we will not get or achieve what we want? We can do this by using The Law of Detachment. The Law of Detachment states that to manifest our desires, we must release attachment to the outcome itself. Once we make the decision that we want to manifest a particular job, partner, house; whatever it may be, we must put the intent into the Universe, then let it go, and trust that what will be, will be.
Spiritually, it can be hard because we are putting our faith into something we can’t see. So, we overcompensate by trying to control the outcome. The Law of Detachment is a universal spiritual principle. Believe it or not, it guides many faiths such as Taoism, Jainism, and Buddhism. It comes down to separating yourself and emotions from your goals.
If trying to wrap your head around the spiritual aspect of The Law of Detachment is difficult, there is scientific research showing that it does in fact work. Psychologically and neurologically, when we step into the energy of detachment we can trust and surrender rather than control. When we are practicing detachment, we are building and strengthening neural pathways that create new behaviors. This in turn can create opportunities for our relationships, careers, finances, and more. We don’t get caught up in timelines, overthinking, and even worse our own self-doubt. When you are no longer tied to the outcome of how it MUST be, you free yourself to receive the abundant possibilities.
When we focus too hard on what we want, we can energetically strangle the outcome making it harder for us to receive it. We are literally squeezing the life out of it. The moment we choose to detach from what we want; the Universe can start working to bring it to us. Co-creating with the Universe requires active allowance. Instead of getting in our own way by creating resistance, detachment creates space to receive guidance from the Universe. Rather than fixating on the how or the timeline, if we simple trust and allow things to take shape, they will.
The Law of Detachment does not mean to sit back and do nothing or giving up on your goals. We still need to be active participants in the world around us. Instead, it involves surrendering control (hard to do, I know) and trusting in the Universe. When we mindfully practice detachment, we open our hearts and enter a space of receiving. If we give up resisting and allow life (and the Universe) to present us with more possibilities, we may find that the idea outcome we had in our heads is not as incredible as what the Universe has for us.
Today, I choose to let go of any expectations and control of any outcomes I believe I am needing. I will make space to allow the Universe to provide for me in ways that are far beyond what I could ever imagine. I let go of resistance and open myself to receiving with love and compassion.